Samuel L. Jackson an eel smuggler?

So, we were scheduled to meet with Samuel L. Jackson(aka Sammy) today to discuss his membership into The 3 Venomy Venoms. He was a no-show, though. No phone call from him or his agent. He left us vulnerable and exposed at a downtown Starbucks while we waited for his ass. We were tempted to tear-up his application then and there but figured we'd let the man at least try to come up with an excuse.

Earlier this evening we got one. Seems our recent story about Sammy's early-career exploits as The Black Eel caught the attention of folks as far away as Asia(kung-fu heaven, so it's not a huge surprise. We're revered there).

Yesterday, Hong Kong issued a warning about contaminated eels imported from China. Well, Sammy happened to be traveling in HK promoting his...um..."movie", Snakes on a Plane. Turns out that government officials in HK had read our story about The Black Eel BUT somewhere between here and there, lost in translation, they interpreted things incorrectly and figured Sammy to be an eel smuggler. Our post translates into Chinese along those lines, apparently. Through a rather complicated Bayesian analysis method T3VV determined that the only way our post could have been mistranslated in this fashion is in the following manner:

"black" = "smuggler" in Chinese??

Cards were stacked against him even before he landed in HK.

Per Sammy:

"What the hell were they thinking?! A Black Eel smuggler? Drugs, laundered money, prostitutes, illegal aliens, I can understand, but who the f--- smuggles black eels?! It's a good thing there weren't any problems with toast around here or I'd have been accused of being a damn toast smuggler, too. Damn fools!"

By email, HK customs officials commented:

"The post at The 3 Venomy Venoms blog, though initially misinterpreted, gave us probable cause to seize and search Mr. L. Jackson's belongings. In addition, a rather incriminating photo was subsequently discovered on his person that necessitated detainment and further questioning."

Though officially reluctant to share any info on it, when pressed to explain what they meant by "a rather incriminating photo" an anonymous source shared the following:

Sammy collaborating with an apparent known eel smuggler

In the end, we decided to reschedule our meeting with Sammy and give him another chance. He's had a mess to deal with and we feel at least a little responsible. Not sorry...but a tad responsible.

See ya next week, Sammy!